What marvelous love the Father has extended to us! Just look at it—we’re called children of God! That’s who we really are. But that’s also why the world doesn’t recognize us or take us seriously, because it has no idea who He is or what He’s up to. 1 John 3:1 (MSG)
The middle is an unsettling place.
I hate the middle, so I spend little time there. I am a person of extremes simply because I find the middle so very uncomfortable. I’m hot or cold, up or down, passionate or disinterested; if I’m ambivalent about something for too long, I get restless and either dismiss it or force myself to embrace it. When I say “it” that means things, attitudes or people.
I hate the middle.
Allow me to share with you a personal revelation I had a few years ago. This is not a divine revelation. It’s simply the conclusion I came to about my journey. It may not apply, or even make sense to you. If that is the case, come back tomorrow and you’ll find a new post. If, when you read this it rings true for you, just know it’s another manifestation of the marvelous love the Father has for His children.
Many things interest me. I have pursued many interests and relationships during my life. The one consistent thing throughout my life is my faith. As the years have progressed, my faith has changed but the object of my faith, God, has not.
I grew up with a great uneasiness in my belly. I am a perfectionist so I felt I needed to make the right decisions, take the correct path, and do the right thing without fail. As I began life on my own, the black-and-white of being dependent on my parents swirled into a cloud of doubtful gray. The plans I had mapped out as an adolescent, brought with them an entirely new set of contingencies when the time came to execute my plan for world domination.
Stuck in the middle – where I want to be and where I am now.
I spent many, many years there. Those were uncomfortable years mostly because I knew there was something better. I wanted to be happy and fulfilled. I tried to manipulate my surroundings into the life I had planned.
Stuck in the middle—I’m here and I want to be there; although I had lost sight of “there” and was not happy with “here.” Still, I believed in the one thing that has never changed in spite of all my changes—God.
Then one day it hit me. I’m uncomfortable here, because this is not my home. I’m a stranger in this world. There should be uneasiness in my belly—I’m home sick. That revelation changed my attitude about everything. The struggles I face are struggles for the moment. The mistakes I made are behind me. This life, that on some days feels like it will consume me, is just a speck on the time line of eternity. I have an eternal home.
I have a Heavenly Father who is crazy in love with me. I live in a world that will never understand me.
Do you see “the middle” John tucked into his remarks? Do you feel that uneasiness in your belly? I’m happy to tell you the middle is not where John leaves the believer. There is glorious hope between the home of Heaven and the journey of this world. Let the uneasiness you feel drive you to a life of love. Stop trying to fit into a world where you don’t belong –instead stand out. Live the life of glorious hope. Live the life of love.
Father, thank You for the uneasiness that drove me back to Your loving arms and a deeper relationship with You. Help me to live out the life of love You planned for me when I became Your child. Always drive me back to Your loving arms. Always make me discontent with being in the middle.