Losing someone we love is hard. Only someone that has experienced it knows what I mean. It’s difficult to describe the feeling.
My definition of loss is loving someone or something so much that when they’re gone you find yourself at a loss for emotion and even words. The feeling is like having a knot in your stomach that you can’t get rid of, and every thought makes your eyes water. Your thoughts are consumed on what you once had and now have lost.
The Open Wound
Time helps heal most wounds, but some wounds feel as if they will never go away. We can get ourselves into a bad place where we can’t comprehend the work God is doing. That mindset is dangerous.
In grief, I discovered that isolating myself from others gave me time to dwell on losing the person I loved. While solitude can sometimes be a good thing, I found that while being alone I kept finding ways to make myself feel guilty for things I could have done when that person was alive. Dwelling made me feel even worse, and my attitude affected those around me who were also grieving.
Seeing the bright side is not as easy as it was before the loss. Knowing that the person you lost is with Jesus makes healing quicker. One day, when your time comes, you too will be with the Lord.
You have to push forward and see the joy in the life God is giving you now and in knowing that the person who has passed would want you to live on. Finding ways to honor that person is living a life embracing the now and the good God is doing. God will pull you out of your deepest lows and bring you up to your highest highs. Have faith in what He is doing. He has a reason for everything that happens.
One way to help yourself grieve is to find ways to keep that person alive in your memories. Remember the reasons why you loved this person so much. An activity I found therapeutic was writing my feelings. Try writing on strips of paper why you love this person, and also write fun or funny experiences you shared. Put the strips into a jar and pull them out to read when you find you need them.
An important way to help yourself is surrounding yourself with people that will support you, like your best friends and close family. When you’re grieving, you want people around that will cheer you up when you’re down and wipe the tears off your cheeks. As you’re reading this, certain people may pop up in your thoughts. Call them and tell them that you need them. A true friend will come to your rescue.
You’re allowed to cry! You’re allowed to grieve! Take as much time as you need. Do not rush yourself to recover quickly. Embrace what God is doing in your grief, and see His light in the darkness.